Hobocop

No, it's not too much, it's perfect! It's... Evil!
There are a couple Deep Thoughts(R) I remember from long ago that might go well with your show...

"One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late."

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

two things, "No one came to ask Billy if he wanted to play ice hockey." you mean Kyle not Billy. And do not mention the word "atkins" on the air, Opera got sued for talking about it. also it would be more amusing if he was killed by a pack of angry dogs cause he could not out run them. at least thats what i think.

Indeed funny and enjoyable, but I do have a few points I'd like to make:

1) "That was because Sarah, Billy, Alice, and Fernando were killed at the basketball court by Old Man Macintyre, who was taking advantage of his unlimited mobile-to-mobile minutes while he was test driving a Hummer H2."

After reading the line, I was left wondering precisely HOW the kids were killed. Obviously, them getting run over while playing on a street court is implied, but they could have just as easily been inside Ol' Macintyre's POS when it rolled into the court. Or WORSE, the Hummer suddenly became psychopathically sentient and killed the kids single-tiredly while Mac's back is turned calling a pimp about employing "one of his bitches..." Either way, I felt it was unclear.

2) Hot Pockets™ -- like Atkins™ -- is a trademarked name. Perhaps change it to "microwaveable calzones" or "mini bagel pizzas." Those would at least keep the semi-Italian theme of Hot Pockets™.

3) While hillarious and a bit tounge-in-cheek, this may be too morbid for a morning show. I mean, think of all the senior citizens who haven't slept for days watching this. Or all the soccer moms who have gotten just as much sleep but now have to wrangle their kids out the door instead of sitting in recliners all morning. Or the professional buisnessmen who watch the morning news before work not to HEAR about FICTIONAL violence but to SEE ACTUAL VIOLENCE. This way, they're less likely to road rage.

Just my three cents.

entertaining, but some of the offers made by the children should be for something more illicit, such as cigarrettes or marajuana. that would be funny. :)

I sense your deeper addressing of the social situation by creating an allusion. Those that break agaisnt the tide are summarily punished eventually throguh corporate entities, the H2, the cell phone. Instead of moving with the majority by adopting the products of capitalism, those engage in sports or other activities where they arenot functioning in the role of consumer suffer the fate of the destruction and death. The child engaged in consumerism, instead, lives on to continue at the foot of capitalism suffering under the pain of unending consumption whether it be media or food. However, in the end, the child of captialism is also destroyed. Your story leads me to believe that you find no escape for man from global corporate domination either through denial of the system or via total acceptance.
Perhaps the manner of death for Kyle is another aspect of your story that deserves attention. His death could point to a total failure of the healthcare system in the United States. Perhaps through his spending on useless articles of captialist consumption--the DVDs, the pay-per-view--he denied himself adequate treatment and therefore died. But maybe the treatment was beyond his reach because of the capitalist design in the system preventing those without adequate, extraordinary means to purchase the necessary treatment. Instead, he is left to acquiesce to the only means of capitalism he can through the consumption of small goods.
....I am really bored at work....

neal, you should be a writer. i think.

Neal needs a better outlet by which to express his thoughts. I suggest guns.

An interesting premise has just struck me...

...isn't this sort of open, philosophical discussion regarding others' written fictions how the Talmud was formed?

...can we officially call this the Tal-blog?

...is that anti-Semetic?